We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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