I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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