I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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