I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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