Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
