i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
