We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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