strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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