I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
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Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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