this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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