I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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