i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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