toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How does it feel to date your dad?