she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment