Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof