Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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