you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete