i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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