Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
