I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
