Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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