$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
