just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
