i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
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I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize