when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
