Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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