I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
