I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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