I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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