do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
