also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
