Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
