all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
