Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
