So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
