you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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