It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
