I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
