then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
try to milk me bitch
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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