yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
