Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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