just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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