so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
