yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i may or may not be watching the land before time
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There's always time for handjobs
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
