idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize