exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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