i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
