Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
