haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I had to cum in my sink.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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