so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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