The maid of honor just puked.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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