Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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