So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
