In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I have already put on my inside pants.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"