Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (3169) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. http://tfl.nu/1chf
  Replies (13) Good night (4007) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution" http://tfl.nu/yos3
  Replies (22) Good night (6208) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (27) Good night (1233) Bad night (5874)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night. http://tfl.nu/qv6r
  Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (4333)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1174) Bad night (3266)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that. http://tfl.nu/4zb9
  Replies (43) Good night (1781) Bad night (6647)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me http://tfl.nu/in6y
  Replies (3) Good night (2060) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases http://tfl.nu/lpic
  Replies (14) Good night (5217) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created. http://tfl.nu/pozr
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later http://tfl.nu/zlh0
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning. http://tfl.nu/4ygc
  Replies (9) Good night (1384) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage http://tfl.nu/24ub
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive. http://tfl.nu/7nfi
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (161)

Randomize