So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son