Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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  (832): moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone http://tfl.nu/qe9x
  Replies (13) Good night (3201) Bad night (1339)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...

  (716): View more from New York

  what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  self-loathing.

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  (617): omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night... (716): what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk? (617): self-loathing. http://tfl.nu/qojo
  Replies (7) Good night (1074) Bad night (3128)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.

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  (908): All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me. http://tfl.nu/8azw
  Replies (16) Good night (777) Bad night (3456)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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  (971): the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together? http://tfl.nu/xjvt
  Replies (38) Good night (5863) Bad night (1684)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

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  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8759) Bad night (1158)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.

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  (678): I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head. http://tfl.nu/4u7e
  Replies (44) Good night (7278) Bad night (1786)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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  (201): just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit. http://tfl.nu/jcis
  Replies (16) Good night (4821) Bad night (1582)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.

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  (815): I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much. http://tfl.nu/aut4
  Replies (12) Good night (3192) Bad night (1924)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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  (850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml
  Replies (12) Good night (5673) Bad night (1129)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3748) Bad night (1414)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.

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  (570): That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga. http://tfl.nu/2c2v
  Replies (2) Good night (1548) Bad night (539)
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  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (659)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.

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  (570): He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point. http://tfl.nu/gdgk
  Replies (7) Good night (233) Bad night (846)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.

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  (313): Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here (702): Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze. http://tfl.nu/43v0
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (280)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...

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  (801): I just used a thesaurus to write a sext... http://tfl.nu/q8a7
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (252)

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