I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
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No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.