hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
