Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

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  (337): I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex? http://tfl.nu/05zs
  Replies (27) Good night (6117) Bad night (764)
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  (516): View more from New York

  How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

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  (516): How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction" http://tfl.nu/s1bm
  Replies (16) Good night (783) Bad night (4876)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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  (757): If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up... http://tfl.nu/b9ou
  Replies (55) Good night (6172) Bad night (941)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

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  (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower. http://tfl.nu/hbb7
  Replies (62) Good night (19740) Bad night (1688)
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  (818): View more from California

  At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.

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  (818): At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis. http://tfl.nu/iwbw
  Replies (5) Good night (4176) Bad night (1525)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.

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  (419): it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower. http://tfl.nu/ei3p
  Replies (4) Good night (2135) Bad night (899)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

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  (443): At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together? http://tfl.nu/40u8
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (1911)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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  (313): I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding http://tfl.nu/qljv
  Replies (9) Good night (547) Bad night (2534)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?

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  (610): Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/63qi
  Replies (5) Good night (1162) Bad night (402)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT

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  (306): someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT http://tfl.nu/vqqx
  Replies (6) Good night (327) Bad night (642)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"

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  (954): He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good" http://tfl.nu/rht4
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (186)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

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  (713): Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why? http://tfl.nu/s3mv
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (244)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.

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  (586): You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/7o12
  Replies (7) Good night (1120) Bad night (348)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.

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  (219): They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M. http://tfl.nu/5crd
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (260)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You're about wine.

  (585): View more from New York

  Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment

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  (716): You're about wine. (585): Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment http://tfl.nu/179v
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (173)

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