if you like me you must not know who I am
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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