it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
