My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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