I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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